Jer 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD,
thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

In the past year or two, God has been and still is teaching me that He has a
plan for my life. I have read Jeremiah 29:11 many times. It’s amazing to me
that God has a purpose for my future. I honestly want to see the big picture
the God has drawn out for me. Unfortunately I can’t.  I have to trust and
obey and depend on Him to see me through whatever lies ahead. 

Growing up I heard the story of God raising Lazarus from the dead many
times. Last year my pastor, pastor Hardy, was preaching through the book of
John.  When he preached John chapter 11 he preached in a way I never thought
of before. The chapter is about Mary and Martha and how god allowed their
brother die so god could get the glory. And Mary and Martha told Jesus, if
he had been there, Lazarus would not have died.  Mary and Martha had a
different expected end in mind for their brother.  I’m sure even Lazarus had
a different expected end in mind as well.  But, their expectations didn’t
line up with what would be most glorifying to God.  Jesus loved Lazarus
that’s why he allowed him to die. So God could be glorified 

When I heard that message it broke my heart. Because I often have to
realized  that my expectation don’t always line up with God’s expected end
for my life.   God allowed me to get misdiagnosed and trapped in this
uncooperative body for His glory.  He has made me weak to He can be strong
through me when I depend on him.  And it’s by His grace to live my life in
joy. 

Yet there are times when I get discouraged and I wonder what life would be
like without dystonia. There would numerous things I could do. But instead
God decided to give me the dystonia lemon. Sometimes dystonia can be so hard
to deal with that I just want to give up. Them He reminds me of these
verses, 2Cr 12:10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches,
in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I
am weak,  then am I strong. 
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. 

Those verses, along with many others have encouraged me throughout the
years. Listening to good godly Music is also another way I encourage myself.

Soon after I graduated high school and began moving on in life as a determined handicapped adult, I knew it was time for a change! First I decided to get involved in serving the lord at my church. I have often dreamed of one day teaching and influencing  young girls, but sometimes doubted this would be possible because of my physical limitations. However, God promises to give us the desires of our heart, and he granted that desire for me. I have been helping in the 5th grade Sunday school class at church for three  years and also have had the opportunity to teach. I love being apart of the girls lives and watching them grow spiritually. I have found that focusing on others instead of myself  can be rewarding.

Just recently God has blessed me with the lemon of singleness. He has been
teaching me to be content where I am at in this period of life. God reminds
me of a verse in Philippians 4;11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I
have learned,  in whatsoever state I am,  therewith to be content. It
honestly has been rough.  I have four  of my friends who are getting married
this summer. Yes, you heard that right, four.  Obviously, I am happy for
them.  But, truthfully, sometimes I tend to get envious.  I desire to fall
in love too,   just like any other woman does. I know I’m still young, but,
I really wish I at least had a boyfriend. 

May I encourage you to listen to these questions carefully. 
What lemons has God given you in your life? Has God allowed a trial or
circumstance in your life for Him to get the glory? Are you depending God to
take care of your future rather married or single? I can’t imagine what
you’re facing  right now but God, our Provider and Savior does. He is able
to provide what you need when you need it.