So how are things going? Have you seen a difference yet? These are two constant caring questions I get asked from week to week, ever since I had DBS surgery in June.
A couple of weeks ago I was texting a good friend in the ministry and he asked, “How are you doing?? Are you feeling better?” After contemplating whether I should really tell him how things have gotten worse not better, I finally replied, “I’m pressing toward the mark, my friend, living one day at a time. 😊 Yes, I’m doing somewhat better since I got my Botox 2 weeks ago. Learning that I need to let my body rest after a big day. Seeing a little progress in my left hand; it’s getting looser. So that’s good!”
No, I didn’t lie. My left hand that blessed week was actually cooperating so I could pick up my cup and fork to nourish myself. In fact that week I felt accomplished: I finished a painting for a person, another day I did my laundry and washed my sheets, then I put clean sheets back on—which, surprisingly, is a task I’m getting pretty good at doing.
So, compared to the last two weeks of September, that week was like a piece of Godiva chocolate cheesecake (from the Cheesecake Factory, of course).
It all began when I caught a lovely cold; my entire body changed. I had to pry my only functioning hand (left hand, which was in a tight fist) open to hold my fork, so I could possibly eat, if my jaw would relax and open. Thank the Lord for peanut butter and syrup sandwiches! If my mouth is tight, that’s the go-to meal.
During the past two weeks I have been thinking, “Will this phase of life I’m in get any better?”
Then I remembered a quote from Laura Story’s book, “When God Just Doesn’t Fix It.” She asks this tough question, “Am I going to let my circumstances determine my view of God, or am I going to let God determine how I view my circumstances?”
As I pondered that question in my own life, I realized that I can’t live my life without God by my side. Dystonia is already lonely and hard to deal with by myself. But living with Dystonia with the Lord has been quite a journey of joy, peace and love. Doesn’t mean I don’t have a hard time, but I can depend on His strength in my weakness. He has blessed me beyond measure. I can’t imagine life without Him; He’s always there to comfort me. He’s there in my darkest hours and deepest valleys.
The song “He’s My Everything,” has been a song I listen to daily along with countless others. The second verse is my favorite.
We are living in uncertain times and more and more I find that I’m aware of just how fragile life can be.
I want to tell the world about a love that turned my life around,
They need to know that they can taste and see.
Now everyday I’m praying just to give my heart away,
I want to live for Jesus so someone might see that He’s everything to me.
I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now but I know that He cares for you. I hope this song will encourage you.
Here’s the link to
He’s everything to me, more than a story,
Words on a page of history,
He’s the air that I breathe, water I thirst for,
And The ground beneath my feet,
He’s Everything to me
Philippians 3:14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.