Do you ever think that you’re the only one who feels alone? Even in a crowded room you feel like you’re by yourself.
Can you relate? I know I can relate in this area of being alone.
I love to eat, whether it’s eating a home-cooked meal or going to a restaurant. Throughout my life eating has always been somewhat of a challenge. From ages 5 to 10, I ate with a “special” fork and started out drinking out of a sippy cup with handles. Since I can’t swallow on demand or hold a regular cup or drink with a straw, I now use a cup that has a handle and looks somewhat normal.
I enjoy going out to eat with my friends but it’s kinda challenging at times because even I can’t type/talk and eat at the same time! Have you ever felt like you’re in a time-lapse video where everyone but you is eating fast? That’s how I feel at times. I love to spend time talking, but have you ever tried typing on your phone with a fork in your hand? It’s a little tricky. Once I have my fork in my hand I don’t usually put it down because at times it’s hard to grab. My friends and family are very understanding when we go out. Sometimes I eat a little and take the rest of my food in a to-go box because I have been so busy talking and asking questions. There are also times when I just listen and eat. I have a few friends who say when we go out to eat, “I’ll let you eat your food so it won’t get cold.” I appreciate their thoughtfulness and consideration. Over the years I’ve enjoyed taking my friends out to eat one-on-one just to catch up. It’s not always easy, but it’s my intent to just listen and be a friend. If you go out with me, just know it will probably take some time for me to talk and eat.
I don’t know what you’re going through right now. I can’t imagine how lonely you must feel in your marriage, at your job, or even miles away from your family. I do know we all struggle with loneliness. Two years ago, I read a book by John Westfall called, Getting Past What You’ll Never Get Over. In chapter 2 he talked about loneliness and how we can go through seasons of exile. I like his definition of exile.
“Exile is that foreign place, the uncomfortable and unfamiliar land where we’re no longer certain about what we know and who we are. It’s a forced dislocation. We would not consciously choose it, and we hope it will end at any moment.”
Here are two thoughts from the book that I really could relate to and were encouraging.
“It is important when we feel abandoned and alone to know that God is right there with us, and in fact has carried us even into exile.”
“We may not have asked for our circumstances, but they do not have the power to keep us from living every single day to the fullest. It is important to start where we are, not where we wish we were.”
I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
I hope this post gave you glimpse in my everyday life.