First of all, I’m not writing this to get pity or get anyone’s advice on this topic. I want to tell you what has helped me after I learned this new information.
I had a hard conversation with my mom recently about if I ever get married could or should I have kids? My mom helped me understand my future husband and I would need to discuss,
1. My ability to carry and birth a child.
2. If I’m not able to carry a child, adoption possibilities.
3. The possibility of needing a caregiver for a child and possibly me.
4. The responsibility of raising a child and dealing with a spouse that has physical handicaps can be demanding and emotionally draining.
One of the first people I confided in about this was my friend, who totally understood. I told her, “Now I feel like I’m grieving over something I can’t have because of my handicap.” She told me about this song that encourages her. Wow, it is such an awesome song! I had never heard it before and it ministered to my soul.
Why am I sharing this painful and shattering news? Because while it’s very shattering and raw right now, the Lord has given me the strength I need to deal with the hard facts that I might not be a mom or a wife at this point. It’s not like I’ve completely lost all hope because I believe that the Lord wants to give me the desires of my heart. These are things I must pray about and trust the outcome of them to God. Whether they are the answers I dream and wish for or they are different, my God will always be enough. For now, I will continue to invest in my nephews and kids at my church.
I know there are several women who can’t have kids for many different reasons. To those women married or single, I hope this song will be an encouragement to you.
Felt the ache of emptiness this world could not relieve
My heart has lived in poverty that no one else could see
Until I found the sweet restoring stream that changed my life
He called to me, ‘Come and Drink’ and my need was satisfied
Tomorrow I could rise to find that everything has changed
This way of faith could take me to some unexpected place
But in all the twists and turns of life I’m sure of this one thing
Where the road seems so uncertain my God will go with me
My God will always be enough for the longings of my soul
He alone can fill my cup till my spirit overflows
From a well of living water He renews me with His love
My God will always be enough